never grow up

I find it such a bittersweet thing as each day goes by… my baby is growing up. People might scoff and say “she’s only 3 months old…” but it is still 3 months older than the day I brought her home.

Friends of ours, Dave and Hannah, welcomed their beautiful baby boy, Charles Desmond, into the world on Monday afternoon... and we were blessed with being able to meet the little man on New Year’s Eve ! It was the perfect end to a wonderful year. Dan and I were so excited when they told us they were pregnant because we were hoping our friends would have kids

close in age ! Other friends of ours, Adam and Joy are due in a month and a half, so we are all going to have quite the adventures together I'm sure.

I looked at these pictures and can't believe it… it’s only been 3 months but I already barely remember my girl being that small (or smaller haha). Newborn. Fresh. Tiny. Light. That smell… that cry… everything.

 

 

And then at the same moment I long for my daughter to be 2 years old and enjoy going to the zoo, talking a bit, walking, getting excited for Christmas morning, eating real food, etc ! So I have to cherish each moment, because I won’t get to rewind on her little life.

I was driving home from London on Monday and this song came on and the words brought me to tears…

Your little hand's wrapped around my finger

And it's so quiet in the world tonight

Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming

So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light

To you everything's funny, you got nothing to regret

I'd give all I have, honey

If you could stay like that

Oh darling, don't you ever grow up

Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little

Oh darling, don't you ever grow up

Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple

I won't let nobody hurt you, won't let no one break your heart

And no one will desert you

Just try to never grow up, never grow up

-          Taylor Swift

It got me thinking about times I’ve been hurt or had a broken heart and I cannot imagine having to watch my daughter feel such pain. And my mind started spiraling. I cannot control those things, just like I cannot control any choice she makes. Then it really hit me. One day my girl is going to become accountable to God for her sin… and I cannot control whether she accepts His gift of salvation through Jesus’ death on the cross, or whether she rejects Him.

I mean I’ve always known it wasn’t a sure thing that my kids would be Christians… but until I really pictured her, my girl, rejecting Christ in her life, I broke down. How will I ever deal with that? How does any parent ever deal with that? With bended knees I’m assuming. Only prayer and faith could keep you going.

Oh sweet girl, mama is praying for you.